While you’re waiting for the bride to finally cut the cake, you can always play, ‘What on earth can she see in him?’ You don’t need to be catty about it. Just figure out what she does see in him. In her whole life she’s never done anything really dumb, so there must be more to him than there seems. He doesn’t say much, but he must be deep. He’s a shrimp, but that must have made him aggressive. He’s entry-level, but he must be fast-track.
It’s not dumb to commit your life to someone who doesn’t look like much, just so long as he’s going places. It’s his potential that’s important. Don’t you believe that’s what the Lord thinks too? Maybe there aren’t any great personalities in his church, but at least they’re not killing themselves with cocaine. Maybe Christians don’t look so impressive, but the Lord knows what he’s doing. He knows how to get in on the ground floor with a winner. After all, he knows how to size you up better than your neighbors do, doesn’t he? When he picked you out, he really knew what he was doing.
That’s the way people are. When good things happen to you, you’re not surprised. You think it just makes sense, considering how hard you work and how flat you keep your stomach. When bad things come to others, that makes sense too. And when the Lord sets his personal saving love upon you, that makes the most sense of all.
Only the Lord doesn’t talk that way. Israel, do you think I chose you because you amount to something? Well, it’s the other way around—I picked you so the whole world could see I love losers. Paul says the same thing. The reason there aren’t many wise or influential or important people in the church is so no one can boast about being a believer. The Lord’s mercy is the only reason that anyone is in Jesus Christ. So ‘let him who boasts boast in the Lord!’ (1 Cor. 1:26–31).
It’s hard to accept the Lord’s mercy, isn’t it? It just humbles you to the ground to grasp how his kindness works. It’s hard to admit that his love doesn’t have anything to do with who you are or what you’ve done or what you’re planning to do.
That’s hard, but it’s glorious too. The Lord loves unconditionally, not just to make some things clear to you but because that’s the way he is. The way he is, the way love really is. It’s not that you love him, but that he loves you. It’s that God loved the world so much that he gave his only son. It’s that he loved you when there was nothing lovable about you.
He knows about your future, and that without him in it there’s nothing there but gloom and horror. But he loves you enough to change you and make you what you should be. Wait till you get to heaven and look back at how puny your hopes and dreams were, compared to the reality of what he did in you. Wait till next month and do the same thing. But you’ll never look back and say, ‘Look what I did without the Lord, look how I earned his love’.
So when the Lord tells you about this unconditional love, then you’re learning how high and long and wide and deep it really is. It’s just incredible. Why should he give you the unspeakable gift of his only son? “Who has ever given to God, that God should repay him?” (Rom. 11:35). He has mercy upon whom he has mercy. He’s teaching you about believing in his love to you (1 John 3:16). He teaching you about basking in his grace, rich and free. More and more he’s showing you your salvation rooted only in your savior’s righteousness and faithfulness.
Paul knew it isn’t easy to choose between what’s better for you and what’s necessary for others. He knew all about being boneweary. He knew all about how you never finish meeting other people’s needs. But he was still sure he’d do what was necessary and keep on being a servant (Phil. 1:23–25). You can be sure about that too. In the midst of your weariness you know the Lord will finish in you the good work he’s begun (1:6).
So you can stop looking for people who appreciate you, and look for the ones who need you. You can come into the room and see your friends on one side and someone looking lost on the other and know which way to go. You can love your wife when she’s tired and unresponsive to your wit and wisdom. You can tell your children with a smile that you’ll love them even if they drop out of school or marry Yankees.
You can stop trying to convince yourself how outstanding you are. Just be content with sitting down at the foot of the Lords’ bountiful table, and be astonished when he calls you up to the head, into his own arms.
Davis, D. C. (2002). Unconditional Salvation. In P. A. Lillback (Ed.), The Practical Calvinist: An Introduction to the Presbyterian and Reformed Heritage (pp. 35–37). Fearn, Ross-shire, UK: Christian Focus Publications.